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YOU CAN'T HAVE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE, BUT...

In Virginia, any such civil union, partnership contract or other arrangement entered into by persons of the same sex in another state or jurisdiction and any contractual rights created thereby shall be void and unenforceable, however it is legal to beat your wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm in Stafford County, VA. Though Utah bans same-sex marriage, recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, and domestic unions that give the same or substantially equivalent legal effect of marriage, birds have the right of way on all highways. Check out the weirdest things you can or can't do in your state, and still can't marry your mate for a look into the U.S justice system:


This mother and daughter

would be fine to marry in Alabama

1: ALABAMA


Alabama bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, but incestuous marriages are completely legitimate.


2: ALASKA


Alaska bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, yet it is totally legal to shoot a wild bear (not to wake it up to take a photograph though).


3: ARIZONA


Arizona bans same-sex marriage and declares that you may not have more than two dildos in a house or go camel hunting.


4: ARKANSAS


Arkansas bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages but don't feel too bad, flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock could result in an up to 30-day jail sentence.


5: COLORADO


Colorado bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages as well as keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex.


6: FLORIDA


Florida bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, at least it's also against the law to sell your kids in the state of Florida.


Was this really a problem before?

7: GEORGIA


Georgia bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and also states that no one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.



8: IDAHO


Idaho bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages but you can't be too sad about it, because in Pocatello, you are required by law to smile.


9: INDIANA


Indiana bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, a man over the age of 18 may also be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.


10: IOWA


Iowa bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and requires one-armed piano players must perform for free.


11: KANSAS


Kansas bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages also no one may catch fish with his bare hands.


12: KENTUCKY


Kentucky bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and a woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.


13: LOUISIANA


Louisiana bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, good thing it's also illegal to gargle in public places.


At least he just has misdemeanors

14: MICHIGAN


Michigan bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, at least any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.


15: MISSISSIPPI


Mississippi bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, it is also illegal to teach others what polygamy is.


16: MISSOURI


Missouri bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, but in Marceline, minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco (not lighters though).


17: MONTANA


Montana bans same-sex marriage but states that seven or more "indians" (Natives) is considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.


18: NEBRASKA


Nebraska bans same-sex marriage, civil union, domestic partnership, and other similar same-sex relationships and declares it is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.


19: NORTH CAROLINA


North Carolina bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and states while having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.


20: NORTH DAKOTA


North Dakota bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages. It is also illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.


21: OHIO


Ohio bans same-sex marriage, civil unions, statutory benefits of a legal marriage to non-marital relationships between persons of the same sex or different sexes, and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and civil unions or statutory benefits of a legal marriage to non-marital relationships between persons of the same sex or different sexes as well as women wearing patent leather shoes in public.

It should be fine

as long as he's inside


22: OKLAHOMA


Oklahoma bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and asserts you cannot sleep on a refrigerator outdoors.



23: PENNSYLVANIA


Pennsylvania bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and states no man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.


24: SOUTH CAROLINA


South Carolina bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages it is also illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina.


25: SOUTH DAKOTA


South Dakota bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and states no horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.


26: TENNESSEE


Tennessee bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages but it is legal to gather and consume roadkill.


27: TEXAS


Texas bans same-sex marriage, civil unions, statutory benefits of a legal marriage to non-marital relationships between persons of the same sex or different sexes, and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and civil unions or statutory benefits of a legal marriage to non-marital relationships between persons of the same sex or different sexes and declares that one must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.


28: UTAH


Utah bans same-sex marriage, recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, contractual rights granted by virtue of the marriage, and any same-sex relationships. It is also illegal not to drink milk.


29: VIRGINIA


Virginia bans same-sex marriage, civil unions, partnership contracts, and other arrangement entered into by persons of the same sex, and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages, contractual rights, civil unions, partnership contracts, and other arrangement entered into by persons of the same sex. If one is not married, it is also illegal for them to have sexual relations.

At least the horses

of West Virginia are safe

30: WEST VIRGINIA


West Virginia bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages and it is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.


31: WISCONSIN


Wisconsin bans same-sex marriage and recognition of out of state same-sex marriages. In Brookfield, tattooing is illegal unless it is done for medical purposes.


32: WYOMING


Wyoming bans same-sex marriage and women standing within five feet of a bar while drinking.



It's obvious from this list and these laws, that it's long overdue for a reboot of many of these states laws, and there is an endless supply of pointless and outdated laws still being enforced everyday. Though I have never looked into it, I have a extremely hard time believing same-sex marriage is as or more harmful than incest to anyone involved, yet Alabama's laws seem to disagree. Hopefully sometime soon these state's lawmakers and enforcers will realize how ridiculous they look, and legalize same-sex marriage nationwide.




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